When Jesus had said these things, He was troubled in spirit, and testified and said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me.” Then the disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom He spoke. Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke. Then, leaning back on Jesus’ breast, he said to Him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it.” And having dipped the bread, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. Now after the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, “What you do, do quickly.” But no one at the table knew for what reason He said this to him what reason He said this to him. For some thought, because Judas had the money box, that Jesus had said to him, “Buy those things we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor."Having received the piece of bread, he then went out immediately. And it was night.
John 13:21-30 (New King James Version)
This whole interaction between Jesus and his disciples is border line bizarre. Jesus reveals the identity of his betrayer and the disciples sit there confused and befuddled. I mean, what? I have to admit that I had a hard time understanding the hard headed-ness, why did the disciples not see this?
"Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke.Then, leaning back on Jesus’ breast, he said to Him, 'Lord, who is it?' Jesus answered, 'It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it.'' And having dipped the bread, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon"
It seems ridiculously obvious. It's Judas! But as the importance of this revelation is established the disciples are unable to process or comprehend the immensity of the situation. Interestingly, as I was reading in my oh so handy study Bible, I found out that in Jewish culture the guest of honor was usually presented with the first piece of dipped bread. Here's some background. Judas was a trusted disciple. It was his responsibility to take care of the money box and here he is receiving a great honor. He held both Position and Prestige and the disciples could not see beyond this. In fact the disciples actually misunderstood Judas' swift departure as well. Thinking that Christ had told him to get more food or to go give money to the poor...RANDOM! How quickly had they forgotten the precious statement," one of you will betray me."
My ability to relate to the disciples in this moment was overshadowed by my disbelief. How could they be so dense? Yet, as I pondered the situation God brought to mind a similar occurrence in my life where this very thing happened.
See, I have tendency to lose things. Mainly because in the hurricanes of my life I have this habit of tossing all my stuff on the floor, bed, etc... Then I'm off to the next thing. There's not a lot of time, in my mind, to put things back where they go. Hm... I suppose this casting of all my cares on the bed deal is encouraged by the fact that I'm always running late... that's a whole 'nother blog however.
Well, in these chaotic state of life I had managed to misplace a box, a pretty sizable box. Which was a bit funny at the time because I have never managed to lose something with amount of mass. I mean, a box? Usually it's a shoe, my keys... even my glasses. How did I manage to lose a box in the small amount of space that is my bedroom? In fact, it wasn't the box itself that was important, but what was in the box. My brother's new cell phone. Which I had been meaning to send him! You're probably wondering what this has to do with Judas...it's coming, I promise!Another interesting fact. The box was bright orange, AT&T orange, to be exact. I managed to misplace a large, obnoxiously orange box. What a winner! So, for two weeks I was on the prowll for this orange box. After scowering my room I then began to branch out to my friend's cars, homes, church... bathrooms and I could not find it! At the end of the second week I had just had it and did something that I should have done a LONG time ago. I prayed. I said, " Jesus, I have no idea where it is and I KNOW it has to be in my room somewhere. Please open my eyes." I'm a little slow because wouldn't you know that I walked into my closest right after I had prayed and a blue bag caught my eye. Blue bag? I thought to myself. Not an orange box? Why this was nothing like what I had been looking for but for some reason it drew my attention. Then I remembered, I had bought that phone, in it's orange box, and the wonderful cell phone guy had put it in, of all things, a blue bag for easy portability! With veracity I jumped up and grabbed the corner of the bright blue, plastic and looked in. There was my orange box.
As I told the story to a friend of mine her response struck a chord. " Nichole, isn't that how life is?" Wow, was she dead on.
I actually had a lot to relate to with the disciples! They too had been looking for an orange box, the betrayer of Jesus. But when Jesus points to Judas they look at each other perplexed and confused. They saw the blue wrapping of Prestige and Position and were unable to see the truth. Judas was to betray the son of God.
So, how does this apply to our own lives? See, we do the same thing. We ask ourselves, " goodness, what would God want me to do in my life?" and we ask Him, " What would you do in my life?" We embark on this self exploration, we look for that orange box. Our calling, future, destiny, mission, whatever you want to call it and what do we do when were trying to find something? We ask ourselves questions, we retrace our steps. We look inside and say, "okay, what are my passions? What are my joys? What are my giftings?" These questions aren't wrong but I would say that they are just out of order. I did, and still do the same thing at times. For a week I retraced my steps, asked myself questions. It wasn't until a moment of desperation where I cried out to God. " LORD, Show me your way, show me where it is. Open my eyes!" That I finally found it.
We spend all of this time to-doing, and trying to logify and quantify God's will, that we get so caught up in it and we forget to ask God for his wisdom and enlightenment, the one who formed and created us! (Psalm 139)
At that moment, when I finally fell on my knees and asked the Lord to show me, I saw things that I had never seen before. How different would this story had been if the disciples had actually raised their hands said... " Uh, Jesus, we don't really get it. Whose gonna betray you? Do you mean Judas? 'Cause he's a pretty quality guy and you gave him the dipped bread and...we're just a little confused." See, when we finally ask Him our eyes are drawn to something so different than what we thought we needed but so perfect...that blue bag...and inside, really, we were looking for that all along.
